Anyone else think that Noory's tale of dumping a gorgeous woman in the middle of a dinner date due to her telling him that she hated animals might be actually due to the woman telling him that because she knew that would cut the date short?
The real reason being she wanted out after seeing and talking to Noory in person...
Also noted that Noory used the term "hate" again in that the woman hated animals, so he put her in his "hater" category like he puts us in.
GEORGE DATES THE ANIMAL HATER
A one-act play
Scene: a restaurant in St. Louis, "Eddie Hinklestein's House of Meat"
A middle-aged man with a black moustache, call him "George", is sitting at a small table with an unnamed woman who stares intently into her menu -
George: So that was some movie, huh?
G: That Harry Potter is something, isn't he?
W: Well, my 13-year-old niece seems to think so. (Internally:Oh, Jesus, are you kidding me?!)
G: Have you ever wished you were a witch? I mean a White Witch, a good one. Not one of the evil ones that put spells on people for revenge and like tortures them all their lives. I'm sure you could never do that, you're much too sweet (smiles hugely at the woman, who buries herself deeper in her menu)
W: You're nice to say that. (Please, God, send a tornado, a lightning strike, even a robber. Just get me out!)
G: So what powers would you want as a witch?
Woman: Well, I, uh, really hadn't thought about it all that much.(A witch? What am I? Ten?! Oh God, please get me out of here!)
Waiter approaches table -
G: I think I'll have a Merlot. How about you?(A Merlot - yeah, that's classy!)
W: Johnny Walker Red, double, straight up. (I want it NOW!)
G: So, it was pretty nice of my daughter to fix us up like this, huh?
Woman: Uh, yeah. (Oh I swear to God I will kill that bitch for doing this to me. I don't care if it's her father, I will get even.)
G: Yeah, she does things like that because she knows with my crazy schedule it's hard for me to meet women. (That's the way to set it up, Georgie Boy - it's Celebrity Time!)
W. Your schedule is difficult?(Why the hell did this have to be the night that my schedule and his meshed?)
G: Well, you know, because of the show.(Is this bimbo an idiot?)
W: Uh....what show? (Please, God, don't let him do some internet radio show selling sex toys...)
G: CoasttoCoastAm? You've heard of it, right? It comes on around midnight 4 hours every night, 7 nights a week, 52 weeks a year? On more than 500 stations all over the US, heck, the world. I'm the host - you've heard of me, right? George Noory? (What is wrong with you, you stupid bitch? Do you live under a rock?!)
W: I...I'm, uh, sorry - I've just never heard of the show...or...you. It's yours? Is it like, political talk and current affairs? (Hmmm. Host of a big radio show? Maybe he's not as stupid as he looks and talks...)
G: Well, sort of. We do that. But we also do the unusual too. UFOs, paranormal, alien abductions, astral projection, communication with ghosts, remote viewing, alien/human breeding projects, past lives, ancient prehistoric civilizations that built the pyramids and atomic bombs too, that kind of stuff. (That got her Georgie Boy! You're in there, man!)
W: Wow, that's, uh, something. (To passing waiter) Hit me again, buddy.(Oh shit, shit, shit! Another jackpot. Why do I do this? I tell myself I'm never gonna get fixed up again, but then she tells me, "Oh, you'll love my Dad, he's so sweet...and handsome!" Bullshit. And like an idiot....)
G: Maybe you can even come by and see me work some night. You know, as my special VIP guest. Tonight would be good - we're doing a show on pets whose deceased owners have entered into their bodies. We're gonna have several widows and widowers at the studio with their dogs and cats which they swear now carry the spirits of their deceased spouses. It should be fun. Wanna come to the show with me after we eat? (Oh, Georgie you are on fire tonight! Mr. Smooth!)
W: Uh, I am terribly, terribly allergic to any kind of animal dandruff. If I even get in the same room with dogs or cats my face swells up and I start choking. I hate being around them, knowing that I could die from being near them. So I'm afraid that's not a very good idea. In fact, I, uh, sort of feel like that right now, like an animal is near us, and that I'm about to choke. I'm sorry, but I need to go. Sorry. (Woman suddenly gets up and runs out of House of Meat) (I know that was horribly obvious and only an idiot could believe my stupid story. But I don't care - I had to get away! And now, FRRRREEEEEEDOOOOOOOMMMM!)
G: Well, we can...if you...but...wha...? Well I'll be damned. Gone. What is it with these first dates who run out of the restaurant? What crazy kind of luck is that? Sometimes it's women who tell me they have a deadly psychic fear of the name "George". Or they can't be around anyone who has an aunt named "Shafica" or "Karagulla". Or they're committed to the idea that coincidences are all around us, and can't be around anyone who says there's no such thing. And now here's another
deadly animal allergy. But I could tell she was really just a hater. Yep, an animal hater. Good thing I had the intelligence to see the real her, and the strength of character to kick her out. I just had no idea there were so many of them out there.
You know, I bet my fans would love to hear how I dumped the animal hater...