Topic: George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[valdez]

     George asked Chris Clark if globalism was coming. Wake up, George, globalism walked into the room about fifteen years ago. If we're looking to you to keep a watch on the NWO, we're screwed. Then environmentalist pop star, Erin Brockovich, was on to push a few books. I think the only thing George knew about the Julia Roberts film was that it came out in 2000. He kept repeating it. "When that movie came out in 2000..." "That was a great flick, that came out in 2000..." "How did you feel when the movie was released...in 2000." Ok, George. You're knowledgeable. We get it. Relax. One thing though: its "The Bronx," not "Bronx." No big deal, but I notice you have a habit of leaving the "the" out in places where they need to be.
 

[stevesh]

The Brockovich 'interview' was classic Simple George. He spent three hours kissing that fraud's wide, white ass, and didn't once challenge or even question the nonsense she was spouting.

Funny, isn't it, how the solution to every one of the enviornmental pollution problems we have in the country turns out to be a multi-million dollar lawsuit intended to enrich Erin Brockovich and the slimy tort lawyers she pimps for ?

[El Kragen]

I literally tuned in for 5 minutes but it was enough for George to drop another "gem" during the discussion about North Korea's transfer of power..."REMEMBER KING TUT?"

IDK, I guess you can draw a potential parallel between the two men. What cracks me up is when George blurts this stuff out it's with the enthusiasm and conviction that he's dropping a serious knowledge bomb on the audience...kind of like his analogy between the death of Osama and Jesus.

[conscious comic]

I woke up at 3:00 a.m. East Coast time to hear Snoory's first question of hour 3 with Erin: "What inspired you to write about fiction?" About George? Write ABOUT fiction?? Are you kidding me??? That this illiterate moron is pulling down a serious paycheck continues to seriously piss me off...

[Sardondi]

Dammit, if only I'd trademarked "Simple George". Then maybe one day I could go to the Internet Meme Office and get my money, like "Chocolate Rain Psycho" and "Leave-Britney-Alone Uber-gayboy" did.

But please, I'd rather share it with the world. So take it: it is my gift to all of you who join with me in the dream, that one day, someday, Simple George will...will...just listen to what his guest says.

[expat]

7) and if Hoagland ever, ever admits on air that he was in error about something, made a mistake, or that one of his theories has been proven wrong, players must drink a quart of 151-proof rum.

19.5 quarts, surely?

[Morgus]

I literally tuned in for 5 minutes but it was enough for George to drop another "gem" during the discussion about North Korea's transfer of power..."REMEMBER KING TUT?"
IDK, I guess you can draw a potential parallel between the two men.

Not really the age difference is big, a young teenager vs a nearly 30 year old man...

A much closer looking comparison:   

[Eddie Coyle]

I literally tuned in for 5 minutes but it was enough for George to drop another "gem" during the discussion about North Korea's transfer of power..."REMEMBER KING TUT?"

          He probably meant the Steve Martin song

[Harmness]

Beats the shit out of anything Blink 182 ever did.

[Eddie Coyle]

Beats the shit out of anything Blink 182 ever did.

   I'll Say! 

[El Kragen]

Not really the age difference is big, a young teenager vs a nearly 30 year old man...

I think what George meant was that a young person comes to power but an older rival is in the background planning his demise. Maybe George will have Howard Bloom on again to back him up like last time.

[VtaGeezer]

Oh boy...another brilliant Secret Door show on Wednesday...I just can't wait to hear GN guessing whooooo's there.  Should we have a pool for which dud calls during which segment?  I'll take Lionel Fanthorpe in the last half of Hour 3.

[TaoOfLuxLisbon]

Georgie's guest in hour one is "Coach Bob". Check out his site, and have barf bags ready.

http://www.realchangecoach.com/

Yup, right on page one shilling for him. Good job, Snoor.

[TaoOfLuxLisbon]

Oh boy...another brilliant Secret Door show on Wednesday...I just can't wait to hear GN guessing whooooo's there.  Should we have a pool for which dud calls during which segment?  I'll take Lionel Fanthorpe in the last half of Hour 3.

Christian Wilde, 1st half of the second hour.

[Sardondi]

Georgie's guest in hour one is "Coach Bob". Check out his site, and have barf bags ready.

http://www.realchangecoach.com/

Yup, right on page one shilling for him. Good job, Snoor.

Just for funzies I followed your link, and...YIKES! I don't know who told "Coach Bob" that little manic-looking, glasses-wearing blue blob was a warm & fuzzy cartoon character that would make folks feel all snuggly and safe, but it reminded me of a meth addict on the verge of taking hostages.

[Eddie Coyle]

 
    Coach Bob looks like a fully-grown Paul Williams and I'd trust him as far as I could throw Rosie O' Donnell.

[Morgus]

Georgie's guest in hour one is "Coach Bob". Check out his site

just another of Noory's longtime regular first-hour info-mercial guests. 

at the top of coach bob's testimonial page:


"Coach Bob's genius will bring you the real change you desire!"
        -George Noory,
         National Host of Coast to Coast AM Radio

[WOTR]

I looked at his website and laughed myself silly thinking that somewhere out there some dolt is paying attention to this "doctor."  At first, I thought the video on the welcome page was a spoof.  After that I hit the "donate" tab and was brought to the section where I can make a recurring donation of $10 - $100 per month (there was no option for a one time donation.)

I thought perhaps you just make donations as you feel the program has helped you until I looked at the prices of $1500 for your first month and $1200 for your second.  I suppose the donate button is there just in case your ass is not sore after the initial payment...

The laughable part is their description of their program (all "quotes" are theirs.)
Realchange is a unique program that “works” for those who resonate with its methods.
We then teach you how to use your “observer”
work with you, one on one, instilling the art of how to build the “mental side” into your life
Together we design specifics “things” for you to do during your day

Sign me up for this program that will "work" teaching me how to use my "observer" and build a "mental side" into my life by giving me "things" to practice... I just love when somebody can't even be bothered to tell me a little about the "things" they will teach me before demanding $1500.

[Cuttlefish]

I had to make an account just to verify that I wasn't the only one who experienced this. I have to make absolute sure that my life isn't turning into some kind of Kafka story.

After hearing George Noory ask "Aren't you afraid that the gargoyles are going to turn on you?", I was sure that he had hit his limit break for the night. Unfortunately, I was immediately proven wrong.

With all the grace and tact of a malfunctioning Segway, George Noory suddenly inquired -- with no build-up or warning -- "It seems that angels have names -- Gabriel, Raphael, Michael, what have you. Why is that?" I didn't even hear what the guest said between all my laughing and shouting at the radio.

Oh my God. I don't know why angels have names, George Noory. Why the hell do you have a name? You know, other than the one that's synonymous with "dumbass".

[Paper*Boy]

Hasn't George assured thuh lissners on quite a few occaisons that he personally thoroughly looks into all the sponsors of this joke of an infomercial and only accepts the 'legitimate' ones?

Does that make him personally liable to people that fall victim to the hucksters he puts on the air?
 

[Morgus]

Hasn't George assured thuh lissners on quite a few occaisons that he personally thoroughly looks into all the sponsors of this joke of an infomercial and only accepts the 'legitimate' ones?

nah, George has never made such a claim, only Art Bell did.
thats why there are so many hoaxters nowadays on c2c...

[WOTR]

I had to make an account just to verify that I wasn't the only one who experienced this. I have to make absolute sure that my life isn't turning into some kind of Kafka story.

Welcome...
I believe that we are all sharing a nightmare in George.  Only one year to go before 2012 when we all collectively wake up, shake our heads and continue on secure in the knowledge that only in a dream world could such an incompetent have been handed C2C to turn into an infomercial.

This hope of mine will kill two birds with one stone.  No more Noory, no more listening to crackpots spewing their personal theories on a calendar ending.  (Granted, every year when I realize that my calendar hanging on the wall is nearing an end I end up in the throes of fear and panic, positive that it means that humanity will be ending...)

When you wake up the day after the Mayan calendar ends and you log onto coastgab you will find that it has been a board for Mane lobster fishermen to discuss each years catch for well over a decade.  It will all have been a dream.

[valdez]

..."Coach Bob"... reminded me of a meth addict on the verge of taking hostages.

...I have to make absolute sure that my life isn't turning into some kind of Kafka story...After hearing George Noory ask "Aren't you afraid that the gargoyles are going to turn on you?", I was sure that he had hit his limit break for the night. Unfortunately, I was immediately proven wrong....With all the grace and tact of a malfunctioning Segway, George Noory suddenly inquired -- with no build-up or warning -- "It seems that angels have names -- Gabriel, Raphael, Michael, what have you. Why is that?" I didn't even hear what the guest said between all my laughing and shouting at the radio...

 

I believe that we are all sharing a nightmare in George.

 
     Oh, heck, Coach Bob is just trying to help folks feel better, but the Rosemary Ellen Guiley interview was mind bending.  George wrote a book with her, this should have been more of a conversation than an interview, but instead George went to his filing cabnet, pulled out his index cards marked "angels," and proceeded into la-la land, asking questions about his own book, not knowing what gargoyles and cherubs were, and asking this gem: "people pray for miracles...I assume...right?"  Huh?  Does George not know this?  Is he a visitor from another planet, unfamiliar with our customs?  Kafka?  Yeah, with a big heap of Twilight Zone on the side, scattered and smothered.
 

[Paper*Boy]

Welcome...
I believe that we are all sharing a nightmare in George.  Only one year to go before 2012 when we all collectively wake up, shake our heads and continue on secure in the knowledge that only in a dream world could such an incompetent have been handed C2C to turn into an infomercial.

This hope of mine will kill two birds with one stone.  No more Noory, no more listening to crackpots spewing their personal theories on a calendar ending.  (Granted, every year when I realize that my calendar hanging on the wall is nearing an end I end up in the throes of fear and panic, positive that it means that humanity will be ending...)

When you wake up the day after the Mayan calendar ends and you log onto coastgab you will find that it has been a board for Maine lobster fishermen to discuss each years catch for well over a decade.  It will all have been a dream.

 
Not nearly cynical enough.  In 2013 look for a parade of guests to come on and tell us why the 2012 end date was a miscalculation, and the real date is (fill in the blank).
 
George has already had guests on to foreshadow this.

[Lovely Bones]

Welcome...
I believe that we are all sharing a nightmare in George.  Only one year to go before 2012 when we all collectively wake up, shake our heads and continue on secure in the knowledge that only in a dream world could such an incompetent have been handed C2C to turn into an infomercial.

You mean this will all be like an episode of Dallas?  We'll wake up, Art will be in the shower, and all will be well? 

[BobGrau]

 
(fill in the blank).
 

2020. trust me on this.

[Sardondi]

You mean this will all be like an episode of Dallas?  We'll wake up, Art will be in the shower, and all will be well?

Damn you! I had almost forgotten....*sob*

[Eddie Coyle]

You mean this will all be like an episode of Dallas?  We'll wake up, Art will be in the shower, and all will be well?

    St Elsewhere-type would be cool too....the entire existence of Noory being the figment of an autistic child's imagination.

[fysisist]

just another of Noory's longtime regular first-hour info-mercial guests. 

at the top of coach bob's testimonial page:


"Coach Bob's genius will bring you the real change you desire!"
        -George Noory,
         National Host of Coast to Coast AM Radio

The real change I desire is to be rid of dolts like Noory and coach Bob Globslobber.  Now that would be real genius.

[Paper*Boy]

You mean this will all be like an episode of Dallas?  We'll wake up, Art will be in the shower, and all will be well?

(Heh) here's hoping for a Seinfeld ending - every past character that's been wronged takes the stand, then George, Tommy, Lisa, Hoagie, et.al. sent off to a jail cell...