Topic: George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Paper*Boy]

I have to tune out for awhile, no way I can listen to noorys harmonica...

George (over a cheeseburger at Denny's):  'Tommy, should I play it on the air some night?'

Tommy:  'Uhhh, no George.  Not sure about that one'

George:  'You're probably right.  But I think my fans would like to hear it.  Just like they all like hearing personal type stories and things from Art'

Tommy:  'But Art didn't play harmonica's on the air'

George:  'N00oo.  But he might have if he had one'

Tommy:  'Maybeee'

George:  'I'm gonna do it'

Tommy:  'You're the talent, you know best.  Just be sure, ok'

George:  'I'll just bring it in.  I won't play it unless it seems right'

>>Later>>

George (breathlessly):  'Tommy.  TOMMY!  Look!  Great Story about Bob Dylan.  That's it.  That's the sign.  I'm doin' it.

Tommy:  ...

George (pulling out harmonica):  Squuiik... squaak.. uh, squeek....

[Paper*Boy]

Normally I wouldn't say this, but George, DO quit your 'day' job.  You're a natural and wasting your talent in that little studio.

[Paper*Boy]

Playing bumper music... 'Free Falling'

George:  'That was Tom Petty, not me'

[The Professor]

Well, I skipped the last segment...my virus came to me
And admitted it had done wrong by infecting me, and
Begged me to not force it to listen to
More Noory. I felt sorry for it---even though it
Made me miserable for a week, it really believes
In infecting people, so you really can't criticize it.
So, I relented and turned off Noory. I still have
A runny nose, but even a virus desrves some level
Of humane treatment...

[11angeleyes11]

Playing bumper music... 'Free Falling'

George:  'That was Tom Petty, not me'

Nah!  For Real?  I was just sure that was him, not Tommy Petty on lead vocals.  We are getting exposure to a massive amount of talent tonight.

[Paper*Boy]

George:  'After the break we're going to Andrew in Jackson, Tennessee.  When I first read that, I thought it was a President contacting me through Frank's Box'

[The Professor]

Nah!  For Real?  I was just sure that was him, not Tommy Petty on lead vocals.  We are getting exposure to a massive amount of talent tonight.

You misspelled "crap"

[The Professor]

There's always the replay. . . . to reinforce your treatment.

Well, this experiment of treating my virus with Noory therapy
Does explain why George never gets sick, and never needs a vaccine...
Viruses are discerning listeners...

[Supernormal]

George:  'After the break we're going to Andrew in Jackson, Tennessee.  When I first read that, I thought it was a President contacting me through Frank's Box'

Noory: "You never know."

He actually said that.

This Bible-quoting caller thinks that ETs and ghosts are demons. They met their quota for the night just in time for Curtis to hear it.

[Paper*Boy]

George must have seen Close Encounters recently.  That's about the 3rd time he's referenced it this week.

Either that or the Close Encounters 3x5 card recently got shuffled to the top of the stack...

[Paper*Boy]

George:  'Shirley from Myrtle Beach CALIFORNIA.  Lots of callers from California tonight..'

Shirley:  'George, it's South Carolina.'


What's next, Chicago, Texas?  Or maybe Seattle, Colorado?


I'm actually happy to finally get to UFO Phil... 'I got shadow people... and they're living in my basement... got a feeling, bigfoot's gonna be here soon...'

[The Professor]

Ah, sweet weekend, two listenable shows coming up...

God, this week of listening to noory was hell...his show is
An abomination....

[Paper*Boy]

Ah, sweet weekend, two listenable shows coming up...

God, this week of listening to noory was hell...his show is
An abomination....

That last half hour, from the harmonica on, was some of the worst ever.  So bad it was hysterical.

George Noory, Unintentional Comedian. 

He could parley this into a 'Reality' Show.  I can see it now - right after Ozzie's show, on comes George and Tommy at home in Sherman Oaks.  Going out for dinner.  Show preping.  On the couch tweeting.  Cruising for chicks.  Shopping for black outfits.  Recording and re-recording commercials over and over and over and...  All the little thing George tells us about would be caught on tape - gas station incidents, not pulling out into traffic when the light turns green, handing out unicorn figurines... 

Someone over at Fox reading this?

[Paper*Boy]

Just heard the replay of the first hour news..

George (stern radio guy voice):  'Lynette 'Squeeky' Fromme, the would be assassin of then President George Gerald Ford...'

George Gerald Ford.  Yes, may as well get the first flub out of the way early...

[The Professor]

Just heard the replay of the first hour news..

George (stern radio guy voice):  'Lynette 'Squeeky' Fromme, the would be assassin of then President George Gerald Ford...'

George Gerald Ford.  Yes, may as well get the first flub out of the way early...

He's just projecting for 2012...

[valdez]

     Even by George's standards his recent interviews have been unusually dull.  It sounds like he's bored not only with his quest, but also with himself, and he just wants to get to those phone calls as soon as possible.  Tonight (aug 14), in a bizarre moment of absolute clarity he decided to attack and destroy his good zombie friends at nighthawk zone, and then he played his harmonica.  I think he needs a vacation, or lock himself up in a hotel room somewhere with a bottle of Jack Daniels and listen to Bob Dylan.
     

[KnyeGuy]

  Tonight (aug 14), in a bizarre moment of absolute clarity he decided to attack and destroy his good zombie friends at nighthawk zone, and then he played his harmonica.     

LMAO... I could not believe (wait, yeah...I actually could, and THAT'S sad- so so sad) that he played his harmonica and had people wallop the nightStink zone too.
I agree with you though; he needs a vacation for sure.
Fuckin hilarious!

[PW]

     Even by George's standards his recent interviews have been unusually dull.  It sounds like he's bored not only with his quest, but also with himself, and he just wants to get to those phone calls as soon as possible.  Tonight (aug 14), in a bizarre moment of absolute clarity he decided to attack and destroy his good zombie friends at nighthawk zone, and then he played his harmonica. I think he needs a vacation, or lock himself up in a hotel room somewhere with a bottle of Jack Daniels and listen to Bob Dylan.
   

That must have been hilarious.

[Sophie]

I feel asleep before George gave his concert.  He kept teasing, like his fans were just dying for him to break out in song.

I though he stole Ian's train whistle.

[Meegle]

Hello?

[antijamsect]

Hello?

long time lurker, first time poster!

[MV]

Hello?

hey bro!  how have things been?  i recall the last time we spoke, you were looking for a decent job.  any luck on that front?  tough times these are, to be sure.

long time lurker, first time poster!

haha, yeah, i got the return email from your yahoo account when the mass mailer went out so i took the liberty of correcting your account with the proper address.  for whatever reason, your screen name is really familiar to me despite the fact you've not posted before. that's straaaange.

[Supernormal]

>:(Did anyone hear this one a few days ago? "..the left side of my body felt bad and my other body felt normal".

Maybe he was talking about the one buried in his backyard.

George Voice: "Darn these dogs!"

[MV]

i felt like this thread, perhaps my favorite on the whole site along with meegle's "mangles" thread, deserved a bump after all this time.

[Curtis Loew]

As I got home late and  didn't really listen I have nothing of value to offer this thread.
However I have no doubt there will be plenty of upcoming shows with,  meaningless drivel, unintelligible grunting,  feigned interest and a myriad of other WTF's  as the year draws to a close.

[EvB]

Am I the ONLY one here who is ghoulish enough to ignore his (typical) mush-mouth - realize he meant his left side feels bad, but his right side feels normal -- and think "George, you have a HEART condition!  Time to RETIRE!"  (I actually thought something much nastier - but can't bring myself to type it.

[antijamsect]

for whatever reason, your screen name is really familiar to me despite the fact you've not posted before. that's straaaange.

Thanks for forwarding to my new address!  I think I may have sent you an email or something in the past...or it could be I've been using this s/n since like 2001ish. Or it could just be a portal, I don't know. 

[MV]

Thanks for forwarding to my new address!  I think I may have sent you an email or something in the past...or it could be I've been using this s/n since like 2001ish. Or it could just be a portal, I don't know.

i'm going to say portal.  judges?  jud... yes, we can accept "portal."

[Mops]

Am I the ONLY one here who is ghoulish enough to ignore his (typical) mush-mouth - realize he meant his left side feels bad, but his right side feels normal -- and think "George, you have a HEART condition!  Time to RETIRE!"  (I actually thought something much nastier - but can't bring myself to type it.

George is from an era of radio when bored, lazy Top 40 jocks used to prepare for a shift by hyperventilating.  Got worse as time went by and, like George, they realized their peppy voice was empty white noise.  Some jocks became so addicted to hyperventilating that they were doing it between records.  Turned them into zombies before the shift was half over.  Sound familiar?  Of course one can only imagine what George inhales during normal breathing -- Brylcreem in his mustache, salves for ingrown ear hair and Lysol to mask the smell of BS.  He's also been messing around with largely untested folk cures for various conditions.  Some of this stuff he's been hawking has questionable medicinal value and is liable to kill or cripple a fellow if used long term.  But ol' Flat Earth George will drive himself over a cliff because science says gravity will kill him.         

[valdez]

     The first three hours of "intuition" talk with Penny Pierce were mind numbing, thanks to the no-talent drivel of you know who, but he wasn't able to ruin the last hour with John Coleman, founder of the Weather Channel, and not the biggest fan of Al Gore and his gang of environmentalist thugs.  Very cool guy.
     A special thanks to MV for his persistant audacity of vision.