Topic: George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[preston]

Somehow I picture him once again telling us that he does not believe in coincidences.  There must be a reason that people must suffer with hemorrhoids.  (I know this will be in poor taste, but it is late and...)

Yes there is,it's called not keeping your ass clean.

[YNOT]

Too bad the After Dark magazine is no longer around.  They could have a photo Expose on the Caller's hemorrhoids... before and after shots...

George would then want to have an evening of open lines with callers relating their paranormal hemorrhoid experiences...Perhaps it has to do with all those damn anal probes the aliens are using.

Then there are the web Ads... Hemorrhoid deterrent lube, in case the Aliens aren't careful when they probe.....

And then there is Turmeric....Perhaps it's a cure for hemorrhoids

...well maybe not... Noory would have disappeared by now...

[Zelig]

George would then want to have an evening of open lines with callers relating their paranormal hemorrhoid experiences...

Call George now... Hemorrhoid suffers west of the Rockies call on the west of the Rockies line - If you're calling from Hell, or from Haiti, call 666-666...

[11angeleyes11]

Well, they got 8 slices out of the hemorrhoids... and as you know, 8 is a money number... so, if you put the hemorrhoid slices in your wallet...

George:  Well, that's a good point...

. . .but not on the center of the hemorrhoids.. . . Ouuuuuch!!!(supplied by participant who just got the good point)

Host:  Now, where is the faith healer, really, really quick?.. . .   Call, 666, for Coast emergency. Someone, Someone, anyone. . . . (the phone number overlaid by the new Coast announcer.)

[11angeleyes11]

. . .but not on the center of the hemorrhoids.. . . Ouuuuuch!!!(supplied by participant who just got the good point)

Host:  Now, where is the faith healer, really, really quick?.. . .   Call, 666, for Coast emergency. Someone, Someone, anyone. . . . (the phone number overlaid by the new Coast announcer.)

I love to quote myself. .not really.  I just read the post below me, I had not read the post about coincidences or the one with number being given out as 666 right above me.  Now that is a big coincidence!!!!!  And further, no joke, and I have to explain jokes very, very, carefully for understanding, when I glanced at my computer clock, it is not set correctly but still the universal force guides, me it said 11:11. 

The synchroncity, coincidences and the universal "inlightened connectivity" (this is a trademarked and copyrighted description, again, no joke, but I will not enlighten at this point, and it too will be a good one.) these posts today are overflowing with the light and working .

[Sardondi]

You want to know what caused George's hemorrhoids? About 10 years of talking out his ass, of course.

[El Kragen]

I was listening to a replay last night and heard the new announcer guy. Not sure which one but it sounded like crap. No offense to whichever guy it was. Ross Mitchell's booming deep voice has always been an integral part of the C2C vibe. I was listening on satellite radio 168(?) and Ross does all the announcing for the station so at least it's there somewhere.

[El Bee]

Hey guys,

WHAT
THE
FLYING
FUCK
IS
NOORY
DOING?!

Today I was tuned into the "fineArt" shoutcast stream (which was playing George noory show interviewing some guy about "converseySSHHuns with Gauhd"

He asks a bland question "T,t,t,t tell us about this... why dont chew give us han hegsample of one of these kwestiuns and answers? "

So the guy goes into a long winded deep set up of the question, and as soon as he pauses, about to do the answer from God, noory moves onto the callers.

GET HIM OFF THE AIR!

[Paper*Boy]

Noory just declared over tonight's C2C show that he is "always preparing for the show."   
Really, George?   You actually preparing for the show?   

Walking into the studio promptly at 10pm with no idea what the show is going to be about is one thing.  If George really thinks about the show *all* the time, and truly spends his days working at it - well, of course he doesn't, but if he did - he is dumber and just plain all around worse than we even suspect.

[testpattern]

George just read a story regarding alcohol consumption, and how it helps men's problem-solving skills. Sure, try and convince my wife of that.

[Zelig]

George just read a story regarding alcohol consumption, and how it helps men's problem-solving skills. Sure, try and convince my wife of that.

I'm solving lots of problems tonight... <hiccup>

[Morgus]

Noory just reported on the air that for the next 3 Friday night c2c shows he is taking off for personal stuff.
Rob Simone is filling in as host on Fridays starting tomorrow.
Wow - three 3day Noory-Free weekends in a row...

[Sardondi]

Noory just reported on the air that for the next 3 Friday night c2c shows he is taking off for personal stuff.
Rob Simone is filling in as host on Fridays starting tomorrow.
Wow - three 3day Noory-Free weekends in a row...

Hmmm. To quote somebody, "There's somethin' goin' on out there, that's for sure."

I wonder if George remembers how it was he got the C2C gig: they brought him on once, and then again a month or so later, and then he filled in on weekends for a month, and then...

[Lovely Bones]

I wonder if George remembers how it was he got the C2C gig: they brought him on once, and then again a month or so later, and then he filled in on weekends for a month, and then...

We can hope, can't we?

Last night I downloaded an old show I originally thought was hosted by Knapp because the subject was the Skinwalker ranch.  Turned out it was Noory, but the guests were Knapp (pre-host gig at C2C) and another guy researching Skinwalker.  Show date was January 10, 2006. 

Listened to it despite it being Noory because I wanted to hear the subject and wanted to hear Knapp being an interviewee rather than interviewer. 

Anyway, I was surprised that Georgie was marginally better than he is today, confirming my memory that I didn't find him so offensive earlier in his C2C stint.  But what really surprised me were a few tiny, almost humble references to his hopes that he was doing well (or at least feigned humility, not sure).  For instance, he mentioned having done the New Year's prediction show and hoping he'd done a good job at it. 

Whatever dogs nipping at his heels existed back in January 2006 seem to have disappeared in recent years, because as we all know, he's been acting like he doesn't give a crap. 

I sure hope someone good is champing at the bit to take over his M-F slot now.  If only it could be Knapp or Ian.  Too bad that's about as likely Art coming back. 

[punkinpie]

Hmmm. To quote somebody, "There's somethin' goin' on out there, that's for sure."

I wonder if George remembers how it was he got the C2C gig: they brought him on once, and then again a month or so later, and then he filled in on weekends for a month, and then...

Rob Simone tries to hard to have the voice of God.  I don't care for his delivery.

[MV]

Rob Simone tries to hard to have the voice of God.  I don't care for his delivery.

it does come off as sounding affected, doesn't it.

[CoastCanuck]

Noory just reported on the air that for the next 3 Friday night c2c shows he is taking off for personal stuff.
Rob Simone is filling in as host on Fridays starting tomorrow.
Wow - three 3day Noory-Free weekends in a row...

Noory said a daughter will be getting married soon, so I'm guessing this is the reason why.  For me, Rob Simone is ok.  Hopefully, there won't be Friday night silliness such as what has recently taken place.  (singing, sound effects, the usual UFO Phil song, etc)

[Sardondi]

...Anyway, I was surprised that Georgie was marginally better than he is today, confirming my memory that I didn't find him so offensive earlier in his C2C stint.  But what really surprised me were a few tiny, almost humble references to his hopes that he was doing well (or at least feigned humility, not sure).  For instance, he mentioned having done the New Year's prediction show and hoping he'd done a good job at it. 

Whatever dogs nipping at his heels existed back in January 2006 seem to have disappeared in recent years, because as we all know, he's been acting like he doesn't give a crap....

You make an excellent point. I had forgotten that indeed George was better when he was hustling for the job. You have discovered the answer to the question, "Why does George suck so bad?" And it does no honor to George that he's been mailing it in since he signed his first multi-year contract. 

And I think George has been turning it up a notch - unfortunately for him all that consists of is him reading these "canned " questions at inopportune moments that he's been doing the last couple of months or so.

[Morgus]

Noory said a daughter will be getting married soon, so I'm guessing this is the reason why.  For me, Rob Simone is ok.  Hopefully, there won't be Friday night silliness such as what has recently taken place.  (singing, sound effects, the usual UFO Phil song, etc)

yes Noory mentioned that and he is in St Louis now.
Agree that the best thing with Friday guest hosts is no UFO Phil song or other silly junk.
Noory apparently did a special last hour of open lines earlier this week since he was talking Friday off.

[MV]

yes Noory mentioned that and he is in St Louis now.

he's a mere 115 miles from me at this moment.   i thought i smelled mustache.  blerphsdfm.

[NefariousBanana]

http://snopes.com/radiotv/radio/vonzell.asp

Does this sound like something Snooron would say to anyone else?

[Oliver Kloseoff]

N.R.A. has a big convention in St. Louis this weekend. I'm hoping George can get some screaming deals on guns for c2c listeners. Would anybody buy a "Vampire Special" that shoots only silver bullets? "Order in the next 5 minutes and we will include a silver bayonet for your vampire rifle".

[Oversoul]

... For me, Rob Simone is ok.  Hopefully...

I agree with you, more or less.   Better than the regular Three Stooges of C2C.

But for some reason, most likely tonight show's subject matter, I'm falling asleep listening to Simone.  Maybe I miss the antics of Noory on the show?   

[WOTR]

http://snopes.com/radiotv/radio/vonzell.asp

Does this sound like something Snooron would say to anyone else?

Yes and no.  It does sound like a Noorism to me.  The big difference is that it sounds like von Zell made the one mistake once.  Noory would call him Hoobert Heever, following it up with president Hobo Horker and later referring to him as praisedent Heffner.  Our favourite host would not be able to limit it to a single slip.

[Lovely Bones]

You make an excellent point. I had forgotten that indeed George was better when he was hustling for the job. You have discovered the answer to the question, "Why does George suck so bad?" And it does no honor to George that he's been mailing it in since he signed his first multi-year contract. 

And I think George has been turning it up a notch - unfortunately for him all that consists of is him reading these "canned " questions at inopportune moments that he's been doing the last couple of months or so.

Knowing the cause of Georgie's suckage is only a start, however. 

Knowing the cure is what we're after.  Got answers?

[Sardondi]

Knowing the cause of Georgie's suckage is only a start, however. 

Knowing the cure is what we're after.  Got answers?

A replacement: Knapp, Punnett, John Wells, Rob Simone, the first crackhead you find on the street, it doesn't matter.

[Lovely Bones]

A replacement: Knapp, Punnett, John Wells, Rob Simone, the first crackhead you find on the street, it doesn't matter.

Elementary, my dear Sardoni.  Now tell me, how do we go about making that happen?  All appeals to PremRat appear to have failed on that score. 

Breaking of knee caps?  Poison in the studio drinking water?  Induced paralysis of vocal chords?  A one-way ticket to that studio in Hawaii, with microphone transmission to the mainland severed? 

Suggestions? 

[BobGrau]

Part of the problem is that anything suggested on this site would be instantly dismissed as hatertalk. Understandable really.

[Paper*Boy]

You make an excellent point. I had forgotten that indeed George was better when he was hustling for the job. You have discovered the answer to the question, "Why does George suck so bad?" And it does no honor to George that he's been mailing it in since he signed his first multi-year contract. 

And I think George has been turning it up a notch - unfortunately for him all that consists of is him reading these "canned " questions at inopportune moments that he's been doing the last couple of months or so.

George has been doing the show from cue cards much longer than a few months.
 
George continues to get worse gradually, but over the years the further Art Bell seemed to get from coming back and the less he came around as a fill in host, the less George decided he had to worry about and the worse he seemed to get.   His laziness in preparing, his disinterest in the topics just shine through now.  No way would he have been singing and doing sound impressions if he thought Art Bell was anywhere around and available to come back.
 
Ian can still put out a decent show, but he used to be so much better.  Hard to say why he got meaner and even more self absorbed, or at least why he's so much more in-your-face with it now - maybe it was the Steve Quayle interview and the forced apologies, maybe as George worsened Ian was less careful and allowed his true self to come out more, maybe he just did a little better the more Art was around too.

[Ruteger]

"Are you Willie Wonka?"

Several nights ago, one Of Nooron's guests mentioned he had a side-business/hobby making chocolate. This is what Noory asked him. No lie.  Even this seemed to be read from a cue-card.


Sigh.