Topic: George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Paper*Boy]

Run Forrest! RUN!

That you McDivit, Love Don't Hate troll, Mrs D, etc?  Still starting out with the 'George Sucks but he's a nice guy' schtick before choosing a poster to target?
 
I'm so happy you're back and enjoying my posts.. George just isn't going to get better is he.
 
 

[testpattern]

Wow... George just revealed what a deeply generous, gregarious guy he is: he gives his old books away to his groundskeeper. What a gem of a man. Perhaps they'll give him an award for this act of humanitarianism.

[Zelig]

Regarding the "botched" kidnapping of George while he was in Mexico - really, you gotta consider it's the kidnappers who got lucky that time...

[blackshap9]

That you McDivit, Love Don't Hate troll, Mrs D, etc?  Still starting out with the 'George Sucks but he's a nice guy' schtick before choosing a poster to target?
 
I'm so happy you're back and enjoying my posts.. George just isn't going to get better is he.

With all of Georges failures, I still like him. You, not so much. 

[Oversoul]

Noory just declared over tonight's C2C show that he is "always preparing for the show."   
Really, George?   You actually preparing for the show?   

[testpattern]

OOOOOH! George's guest is feeling a "quickening" taking place....... not to worry, though- George will balance it out with his slow, denseness.

[Oversoul]

Wow... George just revealed what a deeply generous, gregarious guy he is: he gives his old books away to his groundskeeper. What a gem of a man. Perhaps they'll give him an award for this act of humanitarianism.

Don't be quick to judge.  Noory's old books might be his idea of remunerating his groundskeeper for the latter's services rendered for him.  In which case, that makes Noory a cheapskate!   

[Oversoul]

  I just wondered if Noory has been eating too much of that "efoods storable food" stuff he promotes on C2C.  I imagine the food stuff must contain a lot of preservatives to last very long in storage.  Noory's brains might be going through some type of mummification process -- could be pickled by now -- which explains his C2C hosting disaster.   

[testpattern]

Don't be quick to judge.  Noory's old books might be his idea of remunerating his groundskeeper for the latter's services rendered for him.  In which case, that makes Noory a cheapskate!   

HA! You know, that same thought crossed my mind as well. That's commensurate with George's level of class.

[testpattern]

  I just wondered if Noory has been eating too much of that "efoods storable food" stuff he promotes on C2C.  I imagine the food stuff must contain a lot of preservatives to last very long in storage.  Noory's brains might be going through some type of mummification process -- could be pickled by now -- which explains his C2C hosting disaster.   

George and his "bomb shelter buffet". Yes, that must be some real fine dining. Overpriced, freeze-dried garbage for the discerning paranoid.

[Oversoul]

A favorite Noory expression/cliche: "Something's going on!?"   (Note the consistent intonation pattern rising up toward the end of the statement at the words "going on.")   

Yeah, George, your brains are shriveling and your balls are turning into prunes.  That's the only thing going on, George.

[Oversoul]

George and his "bomb shelter buffet". Yes, that must be some real fine dining. Overpriced, freeze-dried garbage for the discerning paranoid.

Makes you wonder which would be the greater DISASTER?  The disaster event (hurricane, tornado, earthquake, nuke bomb fallout, etc.) or the efoods food items you'll be consuming during or after the disaster event.   

[Oversoul]

"George you're the greatest... fantastic... fantastic."  says the last caller before the Open Lines segment of tonight's show.   

With so much ass-licking by callers (and guests too), Noory's ass must be dripping with drool when he hosts the show.   

[testpattern]

George just took another one of those idiot ass-kissing callers, telling him he's "the greatest" and so on. Some people really set the bar at a low level it would seem. Either that or they're simply fucking brain-damaged from drinking too much homemade hootch in the Appalachian territory....

[testpattern]

"George you're the greatest... fantastic... fantastic."  says the last caller before the Open Lines segment of tonight's show.   

With so much ass-licking by callers (and guests too), Noory's ass must be dripping with drool when he hosts the show.   

Yep.. I was just posting my disgust about it as well. Makes you mentally shout out, WHAT THE FUCK?!!

[testpattern]

here we go again without that e-food nonsense... gad.

[Oversoul]

George just took another one of those idiot ass-kissing callers, telling him he's "the greatest" and so on. Some people really set the bar at a low level it would seem. Either that or they're simply fucking brain-damaged from drinking too much homemade hootch in the Appalachian territory....

Many times when I hear such callers, I begin to wonder if the caller is a fake caller who has been "planted" by the show producers or Noory, to do the ass-kissing over the air and make Noory smell fragrant over the airwaves.  Sort of like burning some incense before the idol's statue, to make the temple feel sacred and holy.   

Has anybody else thought of the same thing?

[testpattern]

there's probably an understanding to put the ass-kissers at the front of the line; the converse is also likely the case. Dissenters get promptly dumped.

[testpattern]

Hey... did you hear this last caller who claims to have cured himself of all his ailments? he got rid of his hemorrhoids with a paring knife, too.

[Oversoul]

here we go again without that e-food nonsense... gad.

The efoods ad or commercial should come clean by saying that the listeners or their product consumers will look like Noory, talk like Noory, and think like Noory after eationg efoods storable foods.   

Quantum physicists say that the physical universe is a holographic projection of our minds.  Now, which part (structure or process) of our minds is causing Noory to project nightly as the program host of C2C?   Someone please explain that to me.  It's a terrifying thought.   Help!   

[Oversoul]

Hey... did you hear this last caller who claims to have cured himself of all his ailments? he got rid of his hemorrhoids with a paring knife, too.

Did you hear that Christian weirdo who just called in bashing New Agers on C2C?  I swear he stumped Noory and caught him off guard.  As Noory would love to say: "Bizarre.  Truly bizarre!"  Holy cow dung!  Weirdo caller calls up bizarre radio host.   

[Oversoul]

Hey... did you hear this last caller who claims to have cured himself of all his ailments? he got rid of his hemorrhoids with a paring knife, too.

Did the caller say he sliced away the hemorrhoids?    

If he did, he should send it to Noory immediately for closer examination by him.  Noory might want to do a round-table discussion on the show about the sliced hemorrhoids.  Hoaxland could participate and talk of it as a Martian artifact.  Ed Dames could remote view its former location.  Linda Moulton H. can report on her bio-chemical analysis of the hemorrhoids.  Jerry Corsi could talk about the financial value of the hemorrhoids and their impact on the economy as a gold polisher.  Oh, Alex Jones could drum up some conspiracy theories about the slicing of the hemorrhoids.  Any other suggested round-table discussion participants?

[Zelig]

Did the caller say he sliced away the hemorrhoids?    

If he did, he should send it to Noory immediately for closer examination by him.  Noory might want to do a round-table discussion on the show about the sliced hemorrhoids.  Hoaxland could participate and talk of it as a Martian artifact.  Ed Dames could remote view its former location.  Linda Moulton H. can report on her bio-chemical analysis of the hemorrhoids.  Jerry Corsi could talk about the financial value of the hemorrhoids and their impact on the economy as a gold polisher.  Oh, Alex Jones could drum up some conspiracy theories about the slicing of the hemorrhoids.  Any other suggested round-table discussion participants?

Michio Kaku could state his concern over matters including the hemorrhoidic cause of global warming, nuclear armament, nuclear power and the general misuse of science... <drop it like its hot>

[WOTR]

Noory just declared over tonight's C2C show that he is "always preparing for the show."   
Really, George?   You actually preparing for the show?   

And I heard him declare that he just wants to keep Coast at the cutting edge a few minutes before I decided that I had my nightly fill of Noory.  I found myself wondering if such cutting edge moments will include a few more pedophiles in the future...

I also appreciated his story of taking money out of the bank.  The banks were he was did not know him like the ones in St.Louis do.  He makes it sound like he was taking out quite a sizable chunk of cash to take with him.  I love people who try to pump themselves up with their bank balances and the cash in their pockets (why am I not surprised that George is probably somebody who feels validated when he pulls out a roll of $100 bills and loudly proclaims that he will pay for the evenings meal at McDonalds before accidentally dropping the roll so he can spend five minutes picking it up while muttering it such a pain to have a large wad of cash with him?)

[Oversoul]

Michio Kaku could state his concern over matters including the hemorrhoidic cause of global warming, nuclear armament, nuclear power and the general misuse of science... <drop it like its hot>

Sweeeet.

Throw in the Paglini hag who'll talk of haunted hemorrhoids, and the Numbers Lady who'll do a numbers reading on the future of the sliced hemorrhoids. 

I can hear Noory start the discussion with: "You know I'm a believer in God.  There's got to be an intelligence behind this universe!  Now, what purpose could there be in God creating hemorrhoids?  And, and is it a sin to slice them away, or what karma will the owner get for slicing the hemorrhoids?  And, and, and how do the sliced hemorrhoids fit into the Mayan calendar prophecy for 2012; did Nostradamus mention them in his prophecies about humanity's future -- I wish Nostradamus scholar John Hogue were here tonight with us?   By the way, Whitley Strieber called me up earlier with his theory that the hemorrhoids may have been genetically modified rectal implants made by ETs in preparation for an abduction.   Bizarre, truly bizarre.  Let's begin with the Numbers Lady, Glynis McCants.  Welcome to the show, Glynis."

I just luv it, George!   

[Oversoul]

And I heard him declare that he just wants to keep Coast at the cutting edge a few minutes before I decided that I had my nightly fill of Noory.  I found myself wondering if such cutting edge moments will include a few more pedophiles in the future...

Well the show's got no edges anymore, that's for sure.  George Noory cut them all up.  Shapeless and just plain stuffings.   

[Zelig]

Sweeeet.

Throw in the Paglini hag who'll talk of haunted hemorrhoids, and the Numbers Lady who'll do a numbers reading on the future of the sliced hemorrhoids. 

I can hear Noory start the discussion with: "You know I'm a believer in God.  There's got to be an intelligence behind this universe!  Now, what purpose could there be in God creating hemorrhoids?  And, and is it a sin to slice them away, or what karma will the owner get for slicing the hemorrhoids?  And, and, and how do the sliced hemorrhoids fit into the Mayan calendar prophecy for 2012; did Nostradamus mention them in his prophecies about humanity's future -- I wish Nostradamus scholar John Hogue were here tonight with us?   By the way, Whitley Strieber called me up earlier with his theory that the hemorrhoids may have been genetically modified rectal implants made by ETs in preparation for an abduction.   Bizarre, truly bizarre.  Let's begin with the Numbers Lady, Glynis McCants.  Welcome to the show, Glynis."

I just luv it, George!   

Well, they got 8 slices out of the hemorrhoids... and as you know, 8 is a money number... so, if you put the hemorrhoid slices in your wallet...

George:  Well, that's a good point...

[WOTR]

"You know I'm a believer in God.  There's got to be an intelligence behind this universe!  Now, what purpose could there be in God creating hemorrhoids?  ...

Somehow I picture him once again telling us that he does not believe in coincidences.  There must be a reason that people must suffer with hemorrhoids. 

Well, they got 8 slices out of the hemorrhoids... and as you know, 8 is a money number... so, if you put the hemorrhoid slices in your wallet...

(I know this will be in poor taste, but it is late and...)
If you had 8 hemorrhoids and started turning tricks it could just be that 8 really would be a money number.  In this manner you could never leave your lucky roid at home in your wallet and you would always be prepared for income.  Perhaps every time a ninth one grows in it is time to slice it off?

[Oversoul]

Somehow I picture him once again telling us that he does not believe in coincidences.  There must be a reason that people must suffer with hemorrhoids.

That's a good one. 

Noory: "It's no coincidence that he developed hemorrhoids... AND that he sliced them with a paring knife at the time he was holding one.  That's synchronicity.  I just can't believe it!  Something's going on inside the caller's anus, but I can't put my finger in it -- I mean ON it."

Gee, George, that's gonna be one dirty finger.           


(P.S.: Noory is quite a comedic centerpiece and seemingly the perfect butt of jokes and ridicule.  I just laughed out loud at my own posts.  I can't believe myself for doing that.           )

[Zelig]

Somehow I picture him once again telling us that he does not believe in coincidences.  There must be a reason that people must suffer with hemorrhoids.  (I know this will be in poor taste, but it is late and...)
If you had 8 hemorrhoids and started turning tricks it could just be that 8 really would be a money number.  In this manner you could never leave your lucky roid at home in your wallet and you would always be prepared for income.  Perhaps every time a ninth one grows in it is time to slice it off?

That's probably more a Coast Insiders Club twice a month live chat question for George... than CoastGab question... or maybe you'd want to consider just emailing him privately?