I was listening to one of George's shows from 4-5 years ago the other day, and I actually got embarrassed for him when once again he asked the same question for the third time...and the guest had already spent several minutes very thoroughly discussing the very issue before George had even asked the first time.
I don't think George has ever had a 2-hour or more guest that he has not done this to. Most of the guests are polite enough not to mention George's incompetence and explain it again, except they go very slowly and use small words, as if they're talking to a child...which in essence they are.
George's habit of not listening inspired me to come up with a new drinking game called "Simple George" in honor of all those who choose (or, like George, who have no choice) to go "full retard".
The object of the game is to be able to walk a straight line at the end. The game has as many rounds of drinking as the number of qualifying events, set forth below. The game begins with the beginning of the show.
1. Each time George asks a question which a guest has already essentially discussed or answered, each player must shout "Simple George!", and, within 1 minute of the event, down a shot of at least 80-proof liquor AND a 12-oz beer (in mixed games women may drink "light" beer, but men must drink standard 5% beer, or beer with whatever % alcohol is standard in the jurisdiction in which the game is being played). Failure to finish either shot or beer within the time allotted is a disqualifying event.
2. Each time George uses the term "very special program" or "very special guest", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a shot and a beer within 1 minute.
3. Each time George refers to his aunt, Dr. Shafica Karagulla, each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a shot within 1 minute.
4. Each time that George refers to the fact that Dr. Stanton Friedman was his "very first radio interview", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a beer within 1 minute.
5. Each time George says "Of course you know I think there are no such things as coincidences", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down 2 shots in 1 minute. (Vomiting at this point is a disqualifying event.)
6. Each time George says "Man, the time has just flown by tonight!", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must drink 2 beers within 1 minute. (Vomiting at this point is a disqualifying event.)
7. As Cusco's "Inca Dance" is played each player must in turn walk a straight line on a laid out course of at least 20 feet. Straightest walker and least inebriated appearing player, as determined by the players themselves, is the winner.
It's a simple game, in keeping with a very simple man. Of course it should be noted that there are nights on which George's performance is so dismal that players of this game could drink something like a dozen shots of liquor and as many beers. This could pose a problem with alcohol poisoning, vehicular homicide or unanticipated sexual partners, so use caution...like making sure you lay down a good base of carbos before playing - mashed potatoes seems to work well. If you play don't let anyone ride home with you: you don't want any eyewitnesses to what you might run over on your Toad's Wild Ride home. Finally, be thoughtful and carry some trashbags to catch that pesky projectile vomiting that sometimes sneaks up on players in the last hour of the show. After all, you don't want anyone to think you're a "Simple George", do you?
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