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How do you get your favorite porn star to fall for you and move in with you?
Caruthers612:
While I could be devoting the little gray cells to learning chess, mastering Japanese or opening a portal between my septic tank and Azeroth, I seem unable to focus on anything other than this one question. And why would I? I mean, is there anything else that matters? Let's get real.
So far, since I possess neither gobs of money, fame, nor a member the size of...er, I mean, great industry contacts, I have come up with a big fat nothing. I am open to suggestions. Let's put our heads together, fellas, if you'll pardon the expression; this is in our mutual interest. What does it take? How can it be done? How do you go from loser working at Paddy's Cabbage Emporium to Gianna Michael's official mattress tester (do the visual)?
M
Pirate King Atomsk:
I'd only let Rachel Rotten move in with me. She's only done porn with her ex-boyfriend and is a smoking hot punk/gothic-looking chick. Too bad she left the business so early. ...Well, for me, anyways.
Anyways, confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac we have. Work out, eat right, keep a good wit, and overall - take care of business. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man who can take care of her through anything, so you have to take care of yourself first - mind, body, and spirit. I guess the rest of it depends on personality and aesthetic chemistry.
Also, maybe stop looking for porn stars? ;D
Michael Vandeven:
i would recommend that you ditch the porn star idea and consider finding a woman from morocco. since morocco is among the most liberal islamic cultures in the world, i don't think this is so far fetched.
i know you're jewish, and the incongruity at first glance might seem overwhelming, but hear me out.
first, they are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. however, i'm partial to ANY woman with dark skin.
second, they are among the most loyal.
third, they are among the most feminine.
fourth, they are easy to please.
fifth, they enjoy pleasing their husbands.
sixth, they have a strong moral center.
seventh, they are very strong women and possess an unusually potent desire to succeed in a capitalistic system. the entrepreneurial spirit can be very difficult to find in a woman.
eighth, they enjoy it when a man acts like a man rather than feeling threatened or disgusted by it.
ninth, they are tough and aren't afraid to kick your ass when you need it. helps to keep you on the right track.
tenth, they believe in having sex with their husbands as a matter of spousal duty, not as a matter of reward as if you're some puppy who didn't shit on the floor while the owners were gone.
eleventh, they are very maternal.
umm... i'm out of reasons.
i find any woman who possesses these characteristics to be far sexier than any porn star.
Σεληνόλυκος:
--- Quote from: Michael Vandeven on July 11, 2008, 09:01:59 PM ---i would recommend that you ditch the porn star idea and consider finding a woman from morocco. since morocco is among the most liberal islamic cultures in the world, i don't think this is so far fetched.
i know you're jewish, and the incongruity at first glance might seem overwhelming, but hear me out.
first, they are some of the most beautiful women on this planet. however, i'm partial to ANY woman with dark skin.
second, they are among the most loyal.
third, they are among the most feminine.
fourth, they are easy to please.
fifth, they enjoy pleasing their husbands.
sixth, they have a strong moral center.
seventh, they are very strong women and possess an unusually potent desire to succeed in a capitalistic system. the entrepreneurial spirit can be very difficult to find in a woman.
eighth, they enjoy it when a man acts like a man rather than feeling threatened or disgusted by it.
ninth, they are tough and aren't afraid to kick your ass when you need it. helps to keep you on the right track.
tenth, they believe in having sex with their husbands as a matter of spousal duty, not as a matter of reward as if you're some puppy who didn't shit on the floor while the owners were gone.
umm... i'm out of reasons.
i find any woman who possesses these characteristics to be far sexier than any porn star.
--- End quote ---
Is your wife Moroccan or something?
EvB:
I dunno if I'm dismayed or amused. Right under that lovely picture of MV and his stunning bride is a bright banner that says: "Are YOU Afraid of Women?"
One more for the "weird ads" list.
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