Author Topic: FRIDAY NIGHT APOCALYPSE COUNTDOWN (Read 1878 times)

onan · « **Reply #30 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:08:44 PM »

I have been wrapping turds all day. No sign of the baby jesus.

Sent from my DROIDX

HorrorReporter · « **Reply #31 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:15:39 PM »

Present

techogre · « **Reply #32 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:23:03 PM »

First off, I want to let you know I'm an agnostic theist, I don't know if there is a God., but I think there might be. Lets please keep this on topic, feel free to bash me in private IMs.

So, I'm fairly sure the rapture will not happen any time soon. Why would anyone follow Harold Camping? Were they stupid? Were they fooled? No. I can see the appeal of following someone who KNOWS who is CERTAIN who has the ear of God. Imagine not having to worry about the world around you. Not having to think. Not having to deal with the complexity of the real world. Who would not find that appealing. Simplicity, certainty, free from critical thinking.

Now, imagine everything you believed, everything you sacrificed for, all of your savings, your child's collage fund, everything, didn't happen?

What will happen to them on May 22nd?

What will happen to their kids?

Will they be ridiculed publicly?

How will they face their coworkers, assuming they didn't quit their jobs?

I feel bad for them, to have sacrificed so much and been betrayed by an old man who's near the end himself and figures everyone else should be too.

How would you react in their shoes?

techogre · « **Reply #33 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:29:48 PM »

UPDATE!

His website (http://www.familyradio.com/) is down. Maybe his web server got raptured...

Usagi · « **Reply #34 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:33:03 PM »

Quote from: techogre on May 21, 2011, 02:23:03 PM

How would you react in their shoes?

Simple. I wouldn't be. If they were stupid, they pay the price. As for their kids, my parents made a whole lot of really really bad non-religion related decisions; I'm okay. As for them being mentally okay for being raised with nutjobs, well, that's another concern.

Fuck them.

aldousburbank · « **Reply #35 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:51:25 PM »

Quote from: techogre on May 21, 2011, 02:23:03 PM

How would you react in their shoes?

I would reactivate my Amway and Herbalife associate standing, send the wife and 9 kids to the in-laws, get a goat head tattoo on the forehead, break out the Richard Simmons workout DVDs, buy a lot of Red Bull, re-inflate the Noory blow up love doll, and skype Ft. Rock to commiserate. But that's just me. Everybody has to go through this in a way that is their own highest truth. Anyway, there's still hope- it's not 6pm yet, and AZ doesn't do daylight savings, so maybe that will confuse the rapture software.

Usagi · « **Reply #36 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:53:51 PM »

In fact, I'll go one step further and say that if people really are such ignorant cows as to be unavoidably susceptible to this bullshit by nature, as you suggest, and need our sympathy and protection, then I think the government should have the power to shut down fucktards like Harold Camping. Let him spew his bullshit, but when he starts messing with the stupid, naive, and gullible, throw his ass in a hole. Let him spew it from there.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(Sorry for the vitriol... not normally my schtick, but crap like this just disgusts me.)

techogre · « **Reply #37 on:** May 21, 2011, 04:19:51 PM »

Quote from: Usagi on May 21, 2011, 02:53:51 PM

In fact, I'll go one step further and say that if people really are such ignorant cows as to be unavoidably susceptible to this bullshit by nature, as you suggest, and need our sympathy and protection, then I think the government should have the power to shut down fucktards like Harold Camping. Let him spew his bullshit, but when he starts messing with the stupid, naive, and gullible, throw his ass in a hole. Let him spew it from there.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(Sorry for the vitriol... not normally my schtick, but crap like this just disgusts me.)

I'm with you. Critical thinking skills and the scientific method should be taught in school to give everyone a chance to develop their bullshit detector. Or put scum like Camping up against a wall.

I usually don't advocate violence, but I sure hope one of his followers goes ape shit on him. Or at the very least sue the crap out of him.

Treading Water · « **Reply #38 on:** May 21, 2011, 08:07:18 PM »

They're not going to find him. He's on his own private, little island with his special minions and freeze-dried food. He's got - what? - maybe six, maybe nine years left. Walk in the park for him.

Anyone in his "church" left behind will be paying his debt for the rest of their lives. Probably believing he was "taken" and they just weren't pious enough.

Coasted2astop · « **Reply #39 on:** May 21, 2011, 08:11:13 PM »

True Believers would say he'll be getting his after those last few years on the island..for being satan's mouthpiece, false prophet, or however the appropriate dogma describes it.

Michael Vandeven · « **Reply #40 on:** May 21, 2011, 11:35:17 PM »

his website isn't quite down, but it's definitely getting taxed. funny that he couldn't have invested a portion of the MILLIONS he scammed off of his sheeple in order to buy more bandwidth and a faster server.

the_wanderer · « **Reply #41 on:** May 22, 2011, 12:45:59 AM »

Quote from: Usagi on May 21, 2011, 02:53:51 PM

In fact, I'll go one step further and say that if people really are such ignorant cows as to be unavoidably susceptible to this bullshit by nature, as you suggest, and need our sympathy and protection, then I think the government should have the power to shut down fucktards like Harold Camping. Let him spew his bullshit, but when he starts messing with the stupid, naive, and gullible, throw his ass in a hole. Let him spew it from there.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(Sorry for the vitriol... not normally my schtick, but crap like this just disgusts me.)

feeling a little bit of Crow tonight!?

let the sheep go, it used to be called 'thinning the herd', when they jump off a cliff, just say 'c-ya, enjoy the trip on the way down'

the_wanderer · « **Reply #42 on:** May 22, 2011, 12:48:23 AM »

this is one of the best riffs on god of all time, one of the all-time great comedy legends


George Carlin on Religion and God

PhantasticSanShiSan · « **Reply #43 on:** May 22, 2011, 03:10:58 AM »

".....with the eyepatch and the clubbed foot." Classic.

techogre · « **Reply #44 on:** May 22, 2011, 09:50:06 AM »


After The Rapture

Usagi · « **Reply #45 on:** May 22, 2011, 10:05:52 AM »

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending rapture. Amen.

aldousburbank · « **Reply #46 on:** May 22, 2011, 10:17:40 AM »

Quote from: Usagi on May 22, 2011, 10:05:52 AM

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending rapture. Amen.

Funniest shit ever!

anagrammy · « **Reply #47 on:** May 22, 2011, 12:12:18 PM »

Quote from: techogre on May 22, 2011, 09:50:06 AM

After The Rapture

This was great! This morning I spoke with a cult member friend of mine and told him that Campion's followers would not necessarily leave him because he was wrong. After all, he was wrong before. When you teach people to suspend their critical thinking and call it "faith" you can manipulate them. He will no doubt provide the typical explanation: God saw the faith and strength of his followers and answered their prayers by showing mercy to the whole earth.

They saved us and we can't see it because we are worldly and blind.

Anagrammy

aldousburbank · « **Reply #48 on:** May 22, 2011, 12:34:30 PM »

Post Rapture Game Notes:

I thought I was getting raptured last night, but it turns out it was just the side-effects of listening to a live Mariachi band, drinking a Pacifico, and the cell phone vibrating in my pocket.

Hopefully Noory made the cut. I won't miss him if he did.

That preacher feller's follower's should redeem their leader by crucifying him, live on FamilyRadio.com. I for one, would consider going to a friend's with a TV to watch the pay per view. And that's saying a lot.

I still hold on to the possibility that, in a parallel dimension, the rapture did occur and the wife and I were too busy in a 4-way with Xena and Gabrielle to notice.

Everybody knows that the last day is December 31st, duh.

Has anybody heard from Ft. Rock since yesterday?

I can't find my lighter- I think it was raptured.

the_wanderer · « **Reply #49 on:** May 22, 2011, 01:22:52 PM »

Quote from: Usagi on May 22, 2011, 10:05:52 AM

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending rapture. Amen.

did you photoshop that image? nice work whomever did.

Usagi · « **Reply #50 on:** May 23, 2011, 10:43:36 PM »

Quote from: the_wanderer on May 22, 2011, 01:22:52 PM

did you photoshop that image? nice work whomever did.

Nope, definately not mine... but it is a beauty.

Agent : Orange · « **Reply #51 on:** May 23, 2011, 11:27:54 PM »

Quote from: techogre on May 21, 2011, 04:19:51 PM

Critical thinking skills and the scientific method should be taught in school to give everyone a chance to develop their bullshit detector.

Amen.

No pun intended.

anagrammy · « **Reply #52 on:** May 23, 2011, 11:40:08 PM »

Harold Camping interviewed this morning said oops, it is actually October 21st. THe May 21st was a spiritual armageddon where Christ came and initiated the judgment. So don't take down your tent poles.

That's like Joseph Smith saying those married women he married were "spiritual" wives...

as in "imaginary" LOL

Anagrammy

Agent : Orange · « **Reply #53 on:** May 24, 2011, 01:36:38 AM »

Quote from: anagrammy on May 23, 2011, 11:40:08 PM

Harold Camping interviewed this morning said oops, it is actually October 21st.

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/23/doomsday-leader-flabbergasted-that-the-end-didnt-arrive/?hpt=C2

PhantasticSanShiSan · « **Reply #54 on:** May 24, 2011, 01:48:41 AM »

Quote from: Usagi on May 22, 2011, 10:05:52 AM

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending rapture. Amen.

That was so....awesome. Thank You.

techogre · « **Reply #55 on:** May 26, 2011, 09:26:04 AM »