One I gathered from another forum that I rather liked as well as the thread subject also gathered from several other forums.
In order to understand non-Euclidean geometry you need to realize that everything is controlled by a secret coven made up of left-handed albino yodeling Lapps with help from the San Francisco Philharmonic Orchestra.
The conspiracy first started during the invention of silly putty in my broom-closet. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the day I cleaned under my refrigerator.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by public fornication with cabbages.
They want to pelt with smelly turnips southern Baptists and imprison resisters in a vat of irate hormonal termites using rubber-band powered model ibises.
In order to prepare for this, we all must chop celery into 1/2 centimeter (no more, no less) sections. Since the media is controlled by wild-eyed commie pinko ninjas in tartan pyjamas we should get our information from the Pope.