Anyone notice how weird the RealPlayer web site has become? It is probably run out of someone's basement. The site looks like someone made it with Microsoft Word in 1983. What the hell happened?
Early November, 2011:
Owner: Susie, it's just you and me. I had to let Deric, Eric, and Ric, go.
Susie: Oh, dear!
Owner: We'll be OK. You're so good with the bank stuff and the phones. I just want you to know that you're safe.
Susie: I don't know what to say!
Owner: Hey, remember when you put together that computer presentation for the Teamsters Picnic as a favor for your brother? You used Power Point, right? Made it look like the trucks had wings and the palm trees and stuff? Showed your brother doing his trucking job even though he has hooks for hands due to a machine shop accident in '84? Didn't you win some kind of award at the picnic?
Owner: Thought so. Everyone teared up at the end when he saluted. Listen ... Deric, Eric, and Ric took their intellectual property with them. Right now our URL is automatically pointing to Craig's List where I have my pool table listed for sale. That was the last thing I had the Three RICs do before giving them their checks.
Owner: Whip up a new webpage for us. No rush, since I have to sell that warped ass pool table. But get on it, 'kay? Power Point it or something. For now, you can make a Starbucks run. Be sure and get something for yourself, too. We had someone bite for the upgrade and made another 49.99 last night even without Deric, Eric, and Ric. Time to be bold!
Owner: I want the website clean and I want it hip. Clean and hip. If someone calls about the pool table, you can go as low as 850. Warped piece of shit. Excuse my French.
Susie: Oh, dear!
Owner: I'll be in my office playing Angry Birds
on my iPad. Coffee, Susie, coffee! Chop, chop! Time's money, Money's time, and we're running out of both!