August 11 - 2006 Article on Sir George Noory I found in Time Magazine "George Noory, Man of the Century"
When George Noory's book, Worker In The Light hit # 1 on the New York Best Sellers list for the 56th week in a row, The Nooryman himself showed his appreciation by organizing and appearing at the Aug 7, 2006 weekend long book signing gala where he signed 129,391,402 autographs in just a little over 39 hrs without a single break. He also took the time to be personal with each and every fan, allotting a minimum of 15 minutes of conversation for each person. When the gala finally ended, a tired, but well composed George stood up and threw his arms in the air amongst the cheering fans. Among one of the fans was Governor David Paterson, who was so impressed with George's presence and charisma, he declared Aug 7, "George Noory Day". George, always having something witty to say, politely took the microphone from Governor Paterson and addressed the crowd: "Thank you, Governor Paterson, thank you for making every day, George Noory day! And I have a little surprise for you, and all the good people of the USA. I will take 1 dollar from the proceeds of my book, and donate 20,000 to each and every American, young and old, to buy a new American car.". The crowd erupted into an explosion of gratitude, and if this wasn't enough, George threw piles of 100 dollar bills into the air!". After the festivities ended, the President of the United States cut into American TV and addressed the nation: "Good people of the United States. I am happy to inform you all that the economic disaster is over. With the brilliant mind and deep pockets of our one and only hero, George Noory, you will all be able to buy a brand new American car, thus saving the auto industry, which in turn will re-employ our nation. George has also asked the CEO of the big 3 auto makers to give each and every employee a 300% raise, which of course they immediately agreed to". News of these events quickly spread worldwide. Vladamir Putin has commissioned Mr. Noory to come up with a plan to save the troubled Russia from economic collapse. George will personally fly Mr. Putin to his hometown in Missouri, where George and his dynamic team will present the solution personally to Mr. Putin. When asked what George had in mind for Russia's recovery, George told the press "I can't give you the details as Tommy, my assistance, still needs to type them up, but I can say it will involve the purchase of Gold. Lots of gold as gold is good. That fixes the economy. For the feeding of the people, I will be outlining a three point plan for the distribution of non-hybrid seeds. I have appointed Alex Jones to oversee the delivery of these seeds to Russian Farmers. Alex will formulate a training program that will educate farmers on the correct usage of planting these seeds and how to completely renew the crops on a yearly basis. It is afterall, a completely renewable food source". With all the time and energy Mr. Noory dedicates to bettering the world, it's a wonder how he can continue to host Coast to Coast AM, the worlds number 1 program with over 6 billion listeners worldwide, each night, every night. "It's just incredible", George said. "I'll never give up my show. They'd have to haul me outta[sic] here kicking and screaming before I'd go" [laughs] "I love it. I just love it", George told Time Reporter, Tommy Danheiser. After the interview, George closed with his trademark witty line "Here, would you like some money? Here you go, have a hundred bucks!", George said, pulling out a 500$ dollar bill and handing it to Tommy. "Thank you so much", Tommy replied. But I don't need money, what I need is, well. uh.", Tommy said as tears started rolling from his eyes. "Go on, son, say what's on your mind", George said. "Well, Sir George. It's my dog. He has terrible hot spots all over and...", said Tommy, his voice breaking up from the tears. "Say no more, my friend.", George said as he pulled out his penis and began to urinate in a coffee cup. "Here you go. Just let your dog drink this up. He will get better right away, I promise you.", George said with a beautiful smile, his teeth perfectly white sparkling in the summer sun. "Thank you", screamed Tommy. A week later, George received a thank you card from Tommy which read: "Dearest George, I let my dog drink your urine. At first, I didn't think he'd go for it, being urine and all, but when he smelled it, something came over him. He just drank it right up. Like magic, his hot spots disappeared in front of my eyes! I can't thank you enough.". George keeps every single thank you note he gets and filed this one under T for Tommy. He also made a photocopy and filed it under D for dog. Talks are in progress between George and Cybageigy to use Georges piss in a new capsule to cure cancer. "I would have donated my urine earlier knowing it would help people, but no one approached me.", George said in an interview with Barbara Walters. And understandable. How does one go about asking the best person in the world to donate their pee to cure everyone? Well, Cybageigy did, and now illness will become a thing of the past. Barbara closed the interview with "Do you think there is a purpose to your presence? Why are you here?", she asked. George simply replied, "I'm here because I am great. It's not a coincidence I was born during a troubled time in our history. I am needed now and will be needed for long to come", George said. With a flash, George dematerialized on live television, teleporting back to his home just in time for bed from a long, but typical George Noory day.
